Song Spotlight: Like a River

A song about grief, but not dumb (goals).

Keri and I wrote a song a while back when a friend and customer at the guitar shop I worked at had lost his wife of 60 years. We didn’t use his words, or even his persona, but he inspired us to go there in our own relationship in our imaginations. We stayed there for days. I call this a “thought exercise.” I often pretend so I can get an angle for a song.

Thought exercises are very important to me for lyrical angles. I only get the words I am after by pretending for a while. A surface-level understanding doesn’t give me the words I need to write the lyrics I like. Much like a method actor (which I don’t like method-acting as I understand it, lol, go figure), I dwell. I make-believe, I dig deep in the pretending. I want to grab the words folks relate to. Doesn’t come quick, at least yet. It takes days of thought exercises with Keri.

“I gotta’ get moving. It keeps me alive. Keeps me from thinking about you.”

I think if we are struck with grief, some of us feel the need to get to work. Work is distracting. Work feels good sometimes. Work feels like being a part of something too. This might be necessary if we are overwhelmed with sadness. This is just so we can live.

I remember when my grandfather died and I was a kid. My dad took me home and started working on a house project. It helped him think. I have that in me too. When grief happens, nothing like a little labor to set you right.

“I’ve lost my direction, but I’m keeping my stride. Seems like the only thing to do.”

I think this line is human nature in a nutshell. What do we do? NOT keep going? NOT an option. We may not always have purpose, but movement is a sign of life. That can be the purpose. Just living.

That was just the first verse.

Here are all the lyrics and links. There are two versions of this song. I heard the delivery of Dan Cross from London in early production. I am a fan of his rock with Donald Skinner. I asked him if we felt like singing, and he and Donald make a whole version! They are wonderful. So there’s a me & Keri version, and a Dan Cross and Donald Skinner version.

Lyrics, “Like a River.”

Verse 1

I gotta’ get movin’

It keeps me alive

Keeps me from thinking about you

Verse 2

I’ve lost my direction

I’m keeping my stride

Seems like the only thing to do

Chorus

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

Verse 3

The band’s still together

We never play the songs that you wrote

It’s like we’re stuck on the same note

Verse 4

Your things are where you left them

Down the side of the bed

Maybe I should send them on ahead (Dan’s version’s verse)

Chorus

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

Bridge

I’ve grown tired of new adventures

Without you by my side

People tell me to move on

I just take my time.

Verse 5

You may be gone

But I’ll love you the rest of my life

People ‘round here don’t know what that’s like

Chorus and out

It breaks just like a river

Memories flowing down my face

It breaks just like a river

Pulling me under with the waves

(end)

Links for both versions of the song, “Like a River.”

There’s no difference in where you get them. The difference is in who is singing. And both of those versions are the same in both places.

Isn’t this song, “old?”

We wrote this a few years ago. I am highlighting it on my blog because I think it is good. I think some folks out there I know, and even some I don’t will dig or have dug this tune. Reception was great on it. Had a lot of lyrical conversations with folks who identified with the tune. Believe it or not, “most” people have never heard of this tune. So while it may be a few years old, I think it is still great. I think it still hits. And I think someone might could use it. If not? It’s just a blog entry. No big wup. I am not harmed, nor did I harm anyone by pointing the song out. I like the song. I point it out, honestly. Woke up thinking about the stuff I need to do today, first line swirling around my brain.

About grief:

There’s a tendency in today’s online circles to compare grief, or compare tragedies. I urge you to consider changing this up. When you look at someone’s face who is grieving, there’s no comparisons, no advice, no steps, no pills, nothing. Maybe just give them a hug like I wound up giving that old man a hug at the guitar shop. He was a MAGA, he was 90 years old. Doesn’t matter, dude lost his wife of 60 years. I didn’t think about him faking it like I would have online. He was in front of me. I thought about him, and Keri. I think if I was grieving, I’d have wanted to be talking to me then. That is a good way to be, I feel, in hindsight. I was flying blind, but now the plan is just to be present for those grieving. I think that is a good plan.

Maybe you want to write about something serious, I have a suggestion. (But no guarantees.)

I spend a lot of time in these characters, in their words, in their day-to-day. I get up with them, I go to sleep with them. I imagine them getting dressed, eating, getting frustrated, feeling lost, feeling insecure. This is all serious stuff. I treat it very seriously, even though I am making it up. I am able to do this because I have given myself permission on these big songs to “go there.” I find that simply verbally or in writing, like in an entry. My intent is a crucial step in it being good. I am not just open to what spins out of me like a tornado. I am granting it permission to do so. For whatever reasons, be it I may not feel like it is worth it, or I am worth it, or it can be done, or I am the one to do it, never ends, I do not get to do the digging I am after unless I deem the project okay and worth it. Give yourself permission to chase an artistic goal, whatever it is. Try it. Allow it to take you over. You’re the only one fighting it.

Thanks.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine