Have you checked out my YouTube?
No Golden Eras
I don’t think YouTube is in its best time. I am suspicious of it. If I happen to scroll through it, I feel very disappointed in humanity in general. It is also aggressive with guessing what I want instead of just letting me tell it. I don’t understand some options like posting like social media and nothing happening. But, considering the alternatives for storing a video online, I suppose it isn’t that bad, after all.
I can’t wait to livestream
Almost a month ago, I ventured back to YouTube. I have video content, and I enjoy playing for the camera. I am also starting a livestream soon, and I like YouTube for that too. So talking in front of the camera now helps me for then. Getting angles and lighting right. Getting content together. Then? LIVE! SOON!
Debbie’s Daughter, Live
I uploaded a video yesterday called “Debbie’s Daughter Live.” It is an older song, and I played it for the camera and Myrtle microphone. It was fun. I will do it again. I have lots of songs that work like that.
Gray Matters
I uploaded “Gray Matters” for this morning too. Also an older tune. I love it still. I think it brings up important points. I also think the sound is cool.
What’s in a thumbnail?
I will be using this YouTube channel. I have even read about thumbnails, uploading in advance, easy stuff to make the videos pop that doesn’t feel cheesy or wrong. I hope it all helps, but am not terribly bothered if it doesn’t. It was easy and fun to do. Not wasted time or anything.
“The Crab Song, Tape 24 Demo”
I have nearly 800 views already on a demonstration video. I don’t think that means much, but I also don’t mind it. Haha.
Back to collaborating
I talked recently about how I want to take care of collaborators. I want them to have links for friends. I want them to be able to look at something if they need to, reminding them of their handiwork. I want them to have enjoyed the song, enjoyed the project, and like the mementos coming from it. This is that. But I am also a collaborator too. I like it for myself, as well. YouTube may not be at a high point, but it is at an easy one. Take what we can get.
Even though I am on YouTube, please avoid scrolling that thing.
I do think scrolling YouTube is bad for your brain, though. It is infuriating. It is like someone guessing what you are trying to say all the time and being wrong about it, interrupting your story. My brain is like that. It gets distracted. It forgets. When the computer throws guesses at me, I get sidetracked and a little pissed. I know what I want. I wouldn’t be trying to type on the computer if I didn’t. You’d think it’d know that much. Maybe it does. I can’t tell.
You’re right to be suspicious
I am suspicious of everything about YouTube, to be honest. But I am also lonely with a ton of content. I need to be “out there” somehow, and I don’t like streamers, don’t like Bandcamp really, but I do it. I think YouTube is very invasive. It wouldn’t surprise me if they recorded you sleeping and posted it somewhere. Nothing surprises me in that realm anymore. Privacy is an antiquated notion. None of us have it if we can’t afford it. It is a privilege.
We don’t have to love it and trust it to use it, just like anything else.
I just make video content I want you to see if you like our stuff. So while I don’t trust YouTube as far as I can throw it, I do know if I use a smaller video service, I might be out some money. I won’t get folks to click on my shit. And I have the learning curve of a new platform. Plus, other video services seem deeply tied, almost integrated with social media of some sort, and I am not interested in that vibe in my life right now.
The Crossroads decision, every meal.
These decisions are circling every single company right now. It sucks, a lot. I do not feel “good” about using anything with a brand name on it. I feel like I wouldn’t even know they existed without micro-targeting, and that isn’t “good.” The profit motive makes them come off like crooked politicians, offering services in exchange for part of my soul. Posting a video shouldn’t be the crossroads kind of decision, but it is. Anything is. Eating fast food is a moral dilemma. Pick your battles. Enjoy your lunch.
I am struggling, frankly, in some ways
I have a hard time navigating this world. I feel like in the early 2000s, the world started heading one way, and I was on another path. I get the sensation we are too far down our perspective paths to reunite. It’s not like I want to lose the world; I am willing to meet it in a few spots. But some of the demands, I find utterly ridiculous. I refuse to be on a social media gridline of thoughts, beliefs, rants, and the computer feeding me what it’s paid to, not what I want or am looking for. It even disguises what it is paid to present me as what I am looking for. I hate that deception. It is world-altering. It doesn’t even help if I am smart. I am lonely. That means I am a target audience.
But Keri
I don’t feel like I belong here at all. I don’t feel accepted. I don’t feel respected. I don’t feel loved by anyone except Keri. I am happy for that though. Keri is more than most folks get in their whole life. We have built for over a decade together. No matter what happens, we were lucky for that.
This isn’t my world. I get it. So YouTube. yeah.
Kelly Kintner