Do you actually know your place? Isn’t that your job? Whoever you are?
When you drink alone a lot, then you drink around people.
Most of us have been to parties and witnessed folks getting out of hand. People can become so inebriated they lose their place in a crowd. They lack the sober judgment required for fitting in. I’ve been this person. I wouldn’t say awareness was my strong suit at the time. But that’s over now. It has been for over a decade.
Being aware also means knowing your place.
Through a lot of time in good mental places, I’ve come to realize I need to be aware of who I am, what I like doing, how I like contributing, even my talents and skills. Here’s the kicker, it isn’t even for me. It’s for you. It’s for anyone. It’s to help. Without that awareness, I don’t think much “helping” happens.
If you know your place, you make it easy for others to find you.
One of the things that makes Eli Whitney‘s cotton gin so pivotal is not just the parts that could be replaced easily. There was also one single operator at one station turning a crank. They knew one thing. And they did it a whole bunch of times. Regardless of their background or education, if they learned that one thing, they made a hand. In the factory of the world, there are many stations to choose from. In order to make a hand, not only do you need to know just one thing, folks need to know you know it so they steer the conveyor your way. If you don’t know your place, they won’t either.
You contribute, regardless of what you do. It’s not always good, not always bad. But it is your contribution.
I come across people all the time in music who feel very solo in this life. I’ve even worked with other songwriters who have expressed to me how alone everyone seems to be. We’ve talked about folks seeming to prefer loneliness. Everyone gets their own choices. But I am going to bet if you have a pulse, you have a purpose. I’ve experienced many points in my life when I felt I had no purpose. I don’t think that goes away permanently. But I do think it’s irresponsible to swim in it too long barring mental health issues, of course. I think everyone has a station. Everyone knows something that helps everyone. Every point of view is valuable in helping me determine my point of view. Did you know you had that much purpose? You are boots on the ground for someone else!
Nature made musicians, ever think of that? Why?
Whatever cosmic natural plan that gives us talent did not imbue our DNA with our inclinations so we would be a happy person. Nature does not work that way. Nature doesn’t care about happiness. It cares about survival. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that we need talents to survive as a species, according to nature. They are indeed gifts to get us out the door. So if you think you don’t have a purpose, I’d start with talents. That’s literally nature calling, hard to go wrong with answering that one.
The mindset of contributing.
It is hard to dip into a mindset of contribution. That is because many of us make it difficult to see ourselves and what we can do. I mentioned a while back that I was a manager at a major hardware store, Lowe’s, in my early 20s. The folks that quit under me were most likely the ones we didn’t train well. Lowe’s picked up on it. One of my courses said “Training is the number one prevention of Turnover.” I still think about that all these years later. If I want to feel good at a job, I’m likely going to need training. This is me practicing at the tasks, sure. But it is also in receiving mentorship, which I have been lucky to get from a host of collaborators in the music world. I would have never looked to learn from fellow indies without Lowe’s. Many academic programs are on top of this. Mentorship in music is quintessential to me doing music at all. I would have quit without some form of mentorship many times. It is hard. It is daunting. To hell with it if no one helps me and I’m alone with my nose in a book forever.., this is how I feel sometimes. Music is a vast library as old as time. It’s not wrong to ask a librarian to point you in the right direction. Believe it or not, it helps the mentor too, back to that purpose thing. It is powerful. Survival is a very strong instinct for many folks. Both life and legacy, survival is paramount. The world’s biggest companies know this, you should too. You are not wrong for asking a musician to teach you music. You are not wrong to say yes when folks ask too.
What are you here for?
Your job as an animal in this world involves learning what you are good at, then sharing it. That’s nature. Lions know this. Penguins know this. Humans get a little iffy. Nature has a design. It isn’t always pleasant, but it lives on, still, despite us.. (for however long). I think that should be considered.
Kelly Kintner